I heard it again yesterday at the bus stop. The "Are ya'll done after Galeta comes home? Are ya'll gonna stop at 5?" I need to come up with a pat answer because I get asked that question at least once a day. Let me tell you what I really want to say when I get asked that question:
Rob and I weren't planning on having kids. It's not that we didn't like kids. We were both teachers, taught Sunday School, led youth group, went on mission trips with the youth. We were constantly investing in kids, but did not care to have any of our own. We were having too much fun just the 2 of us. We enjoyed the freedom and flexibility and knew kids would bring some serious limitations.
Then I got pregnant. I cried. Poor Rob did not know how to respond. We had no health insurance. And I was pregnant for 16 weeks and then miscarried. But during that 16 weeks, God grew in me and Rob a mother's and father's heart. Something more than just enjoying kids and investing in them. At this point we did not try to have kids, but we also didn't try to not have them. We were ok with either.
We quickly got pregnant again. .with Anna who is now 13. This time we rejoiced.
This is Anna's favorite picture of us. She says we should write a book one day and put this picture on the front. That makes me smile.
Again we did not try to have kids and year and half later we were pregnant with David. At this point we said we were done. We were trying not to have any more. God had other plans.
God's other plans were 7 months later we were pregnant with Brooke. This is when my grandfather pulled Rob aside and said it was about time we got a tv. He said it would be a lot cheaper. We had 3 kids under the age of 4. All of them were in diapers/pullups at the same time (and this was before I knew of the blessings of couponing and $4.50 packs of diapers). Now we really were done.
Again God had other plans. I remember Rob and I were at Rock Ola. . he was so scared to tell me what he had been sensing in his time with God. He was so scared to tell me that he felt like we were to adopt. I was a stay-at-home mom to 3 little kids, barely keeping my head above water. He told me and I cried. I had been sensing the same thing in my prayer time. I was scared to tell him because he was a 2nd grade teacher who had just quit to go back to grad school. An adoption cost more than he made in one year.
Jonathan came home from Guatemala about 3 years later. He was 10-months old at the time.
We weren't going to have kids, and now we have 4 and will be bringing home our fifth child, Galeta Soutter soon.
We had our plans and God had his. We are so thankful that God did not leave us to our own ways, but broke in. We are thankful for that first pregnancy. During that difficult time, God changed our hearts.
Rob and I can't imagine life without our 5 kids. Oh what a blessing they are. We are thankful that everytime we said, "We're done." God said, "Yeah, that's what you think."
I pray that God will continue to grow this heart in me. The heart that says, "Not my will, but yours be done." The heart that says, "God I've got this really great idea, but is it your idea?"
I am still learning to let God drive.
I am linking this post here, to A Place Called Simplicity (my favorite blog ever). Every Monday, this blogger hosts a Memorial Box Monday Party where bloggers remember the God stories of their lives. Click here for more details on what a Memorial Box is.
Where I Went!!
1 year ago